This year marks the seventh anniversary of my brother’s death. It’s always a time of reflection and mixed emotions, and there’s one event that occurred on that day which I will not easily forget. Indeed – it’s a memory I do not want to forget.
My brother had been in hospital for a while, with his physical condition worsening. However, on this particular day, those caring for him realised that he was suddenly nearing the end. We received a call that it would be best for us to see him as soon as possible. My wife and I made some quick plans for our children at home, got ourselves ready and left for the hospital. We were more than two hours away, so there was plenty of thinking time before our arrival.
We were given some updates during our trip, and things were certainly not improving. All we could do was pray and keep driving. At one point during the latter part of our journey, I was silently praying and reflecting on a story in the gospels (I later found it to be from John 4:46-54). The story is about a nobleman who went to Yeshua and asked him to come and heal his son – who was at the point of death. My situation was similar that day, and I’m sure that’s why YHWH brought this to my mind. It’s a clear blessing to have Scripture in our minds, and I’ve found so many times that the Spirit uses this during prayer and in our everyday lives. If we’re not constantly reading His word, then this sort of thing is unlikely to occur.
In the gospel account, Yeshua doesn’t go with the man to heal his son. He simply “says to him, “Go your way, your son lives”. And the man believed the word that Yeshua had spoken to him, and he went his way” (v50). But as the man traveled back home, he was met by his servants. They told him that his son was alive. The nobleman asked the servants when his son began to improve, and they replied with the very hour his condition had changed. It was at the precise time of Yeshua’s words to the father. Because of this miracle, the entire household believed!
My reflections on that story as I prayed in the car, caused me to pray very specifically for my brother’s current situation. I prayed that YHWH would do what He needed to do for my brother and, knowing my probable lack of faith, prayed that He would give me the faith to believe what He wanted to do. Interestingly, even after that, I found it difficult to actually pray specifically for healing, yet still prayed for that if it was truly in YHWH’s will. In many ways, it was a strange prayer I was praying. I really was quite uncertain how I should be praying. However, in that moment, I deliberately looked at the car clock and made a mental note of the time – believing that YHWH would do something for my brother at that precise time.
When we arrived at the hospital, we were met by my father with the sad news of my brother’s passing. We made our way to the room where his body still lay and spent a considerable time with family. I still remember that time to be one of shock, yet an overwhelming peace at the same time. My brother was a believer, and we had spoken of this event more than once. He did not fear death, even though it was far from his desire at that point.
Later in the evening, as my wife and I got into the car to leave the hospital, I glanced at the clock. That glance instantly brought back two memories – the time I had prayed on our way to the hospital and the recollection of my mother telling me the time my brother had died … the time was identical!! YHWH had, indeed, done something at the precise time I was praying. It was most definitely different to what I had expected but, in faith, I believe that it was exactly as He had willed!
Even as I write this down, I’m still amazed with how all of this played out. But, I don’t think any of this was done as a fun little trick to put a smile on my face at a terribly sad time. I was reminded of some important things from this event.
Firstly, YHWH is in total control! He knew the moment my brother would enter this world and the moment he would breathe his last breath. YHWH obviously planned for me to dwell upon that gospel story at the precise time that it was put into my mind. Nothing is a surprise to Him or out of His control. In the gospel story, His will was to heal the nobleman’s son, and in my story, His will was for my brother’s life to end. He’s the one in control!
I also learnt that YHWH actually cares so much for me that He is willing to speak to me in the way He did. Please remember, just because I have a website with things I’ve learnt over the years, does not make me any different to any other believer who is seeking YHWH’s will. I’m just an average man with imperfections too difficult to count (ok – so I don’t really want to count them and tell the world what they are!!). But, even though we don’t deserve YHWH’s consideration one little bit, He cares!! He cares about the little things in our lives, just as He cares about the bigger things in our lives. That’s love, isn’t it?!
Perhaps related to what I’ve just written, seemingly insignificant things can become significant. Because of the events I’ve recalled, I actually know exactly where I was when my brother died. It’s a strange sort of comfort that I don’t truly understand. In the gospel story, the entire household believed on Yeshua when they realised what He had done with apparently simple words. I’m sure there are so many truly significant events that happen in our lives that we never even notice.
I’m going to finish by returning to the fact of YHWH’s total control in all matters. I won’t pretend that I understand how His control works with our free choice in matters, but it’s events like I’ve detailed above that highlight the truth of His control. The world around us hates this about our Creator. There are many movies that depict a God-like figure, where breaking free of his “heartless control” is the ultimate freedom anyone can experience (The Truman Show is a classic example). But for us, we have great comfort knowing that our loving God is truly in control.
When we are willing to rest in this knowledge of YHWH’s control, we can then experience genuine shalom/peace. Life will not always make sense to us, but we are so much more resilient and able to cope with things that are clearly outside of our own control. Even the death of a close friend can be endured and, through tears and sadness, peace can remain intact. What a truly great God we serve!
